If and How Are Decisions Made for School or Outside Help

Having helped individuals change their learning profiles for over twenty-eight years now, one thing is obvious; most would prefer to ignore the problem and hope that it goes away. The second consideration is that most of us want something that is free and at no charge. These two issues need to be clarified.

Answer: The problem of low learning cognitive skills will not go away. You wind up as an adult with the same profile and live a life of frustration and failures. You are forced to accept less out of life with lower expectations. The child-young person grows into an adult who requires in many cases, life-long economic subsidized support.

And, free school services are not always in your best interest.

At one time, our neighborhood had almost every other house with a son or daughter in their 30s living with them, sometimes without direction, and still looking for the ideal career fit. Many families, tired of the intrusion, paid for apartments near by, but it was quite noticeable that these young people "hung out" and depended both emotionally and financially upon their parents even in maturity.

Parents are also unwilling to spend money on "self-improvement" avenues once their child has turned 21. They feel that they are now adults and must decide for themselves. This is true, but the future is still a long time ahead. The next twenty years of a non-productive life can be very unfulfilling for the entire family. And, a worry.

Plus, you can't nag them into doing something. Suddenly, it is too late. It is best to make a decision before the student reaches 20, when in college or tech school.

As a learning disability specialist, I see parents and teachers telling the student "to try harder."

Unfortunately, this is impossible.

Secondly, free within the public or parochial schools is a nebulous situation. First of all, you will need to go through the referral process to be accepted as a special needs student. Following this procedure, ultimately, at the very best, you will wind up with a paraprofessional (often without college credentials, working for minimum wage) sitting with your student overseeing an assignment. Often times, in resource rooms, they offer board games and surfing the Internet to kill time, as often the class paper assignment is very brief.

Cognitive skill improvement is rarely addressed. This is what you need for you or your child to get ahead. Not tutoring, or help with assignments.

They will administer tests individually, especially if the learner has an auditory processing deficiency. This aspect is obviously helpful.

This paraprofessional assistant may reside with your student either in the classroom or in a resource room. Either way, your child is exampled to the rest of the class as a slow-learner, and the child, himself, feels "out of control" and soon has "low learning expectations for himself." This can last for a lifetime.

Is putting off a decision to get help worth it? Most times outside help is at little more cost than a piano, golf, or tennis lesson. Unfortunately, this type of social expenditure is more appealing as there is immediate gratification. Planning for the future is a difficult process for most of us.